A Rant: Think Before You Speak and Other Lessons Trump Could Learn From My Mother

In 1971, I was born into a role that would require to me to exercise discretion. The expectation would be that, just because I heard it, doesn't mean I repeat it.  You see my Father was a Pastor. Living in his home, being by his side I heard and saw a lot through the years. People would entrust him with their deepest concerns and struggles. And there were times when on occasion I would become aware of such things. And I never said a single word.  Why? Because my mother as a mantra always said...

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Now, as I grew older my sister and I would have a tendency as all sisters do, to fight and bicker.  Those fights would on occasion, boil over into one of us saying something hurtful to the other.    We would each justify our positions and my mother was having none of it.  She would admonish us by saying .....

KEEP YOUR WORDS SWEET BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU MAY HAVE TO EAT THEM

As I grew older and my opinions grew as quickly as I did.  I would always share my thoughts freely.  In my younger years I never curated my thoughts. I would share them as bluntly and as truthfully as I believed them.  I actually thought this was the upstanding thing to do. I had no idea that maybe people would be receptive if I listened more, measured my words more, and tempered them more. Again, my mother could be heard in my head saying....

CONSIDER YOUR AUDIENCE

All this to say I think Donald Trump could use my mother on his team of advisers.  Donald Trump is a very well educated man with a deep history of conducting his business in the public eye.  Over the course of the last 12 months, we have heard him say things that are sensational and sometimes out of line.  At times those comments are walked back and other times they are justified. I truly believe we need to create a new word to describe the level of audaciousness we have seen out of Mr. Trump.

Yesterday, I was on my way to dinner and I as I scooted through Rock Center an alert popped up on my phone.  I stopped, stepped aside and gave the audio of Donald Trump a listen. I was gobsmacked.  I simply could not believe what I was hearing. To me, what he said, was indisputable.  Hours later, as I headed home, I was thumbing through the Twitterverse and there they were  - justification after justification.  I knew what I had heard.  And I must agree with a commentator I heard this morning. In essence the concern is that the rhetoric coming out of the Trump campaign, when he wonders off script, is very much like Texas in the early 1960's.  And we all know how that turned out.

The sad part is, I believe that Donald Trump is a smart man. I even think there could be an inspiring vision for America under all of that bluster.  But, we will never know. Why? Because Donald Trump can't keep his foot out of his mouth. He is up to his knee cap by now.  And you can't blame the media...They are simply reporting what he said...This brings me to another thing my mother used to say...

DON'T BLAME OTHERS FOR HOW YOU REACT TO THEIR ACTIONS

Yet, how many times have we heard about Donald Trumps twitter activity in response to one thing or another.  This world is a ticking time bomb and so much weighs in the balance. The complexity of which requires a very unique skill set.  Jon Meacham, George HW Bush biographer, said this morning on Morning Joe...the future president of the United States needs three things...

PROPORTION

HUMILITY

DIGNITY

We really must ask ourselves at this point, is a vote for Trump worth the risk.  This isn't just a buyer beware situation.  We are aware of his failings and foibles.  Are they acceptable? Is he our voice? Can we as a nation absorb the consequences should this behavior persist?   Will we still gain things as a nation despite his lack of self-control. Oh and just for the record, I don't subscribe to the conspiracies that he does this to just keep his name in the news. And as a parent, I am not freaking out that my child will speak just as dis-respectfully as he does because they see "Trump do it."  I'm the parent oh my children. But what I do believe is that out of all the Presidents I have known in my short lifetime none of them have been us verbally unhinged as he is. I also know, that never in my lifetime, has the world been at such a boiling point.  I would just ask Donald Trump two questions - 1) Do you really want this job?  2) If so, would you please give my mother a call from time to time?  She really helped me out, quite a lot.

A Rant: Think Before You Speak and Other Lessons Trump Could Learn From My Mother

In 1971, I was born into a role that would require to me to exercise discretion. The expectation would be that, just because I heard it, doesn't mean I repeat it.  You see my Father was a Pastor. Living in his home, being by his side I heard and saw a lot through the years. People would entrust him with their deepest concerns and struggles. And there were times when on occasion I would become aware of such things. And I never said a single word.  Why? Because my mother as a mantra always said...

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

Now, as I grew older my sister and I would have a tendency as all sisters do, to fight and bicker.  Those fights would on occasion, boil over into one of us saying something hurtful to the other.    We would each justify our positions and my mother was having none of it.  She would admonish us by saying .....

KEEP YOUR WORDS SWEET BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU MAY HAVE TO EAT THEM

As I grew older and my opinions grew as quickly as I did.  I would always share my thoughts freely.  In my younger years I never curated my thoughts. I would share them as bluntly and as truthfully as I believed them.  I actually thought this was the upstanding thing to do. I had no idea that maybe people would be receptive if I listened more, measured my words more, and tempered them more. Again, my mother could be heard in my head saying....

CONSIDER YOUR AUDIENCE

All this to say I think Donald Trump could use my mother on his team of advisers.  Donald Trump is a very well educated man with a deep history of conducting his business in the public eye.  Over the course of the last 12 months, we have heard him say things that are sensational and sometimes out of line.  At times those comments are walked back and other times they are justified. I truly believe we need to create a new word to describe the level of audaciousness we have seen out of Mr. Trump.

Yesterday, I was on my way to dinner and I as I scooted through Rock Center an alert popped up on my phone.  I stopped, stepped aside and gave the audio of Donald Trump a listen. I was gobsmacked.  I simply could not believe what I was hearing. To me, what he said, was indisputable.  Hours later, as I headed home, I was thumbing through the Twitterverse and there they were  - justification after justification.  I knew what I had heard.  And I must agree with a commentator I heard this morning. In essence the concern is that the rhetoric coming out of the Trump campaign, when he wonders off script, is very much like Texas in the early 1960's.  And we all know how that turned out.

The sad part is, I believe that Donald Trump is a smart man. I even think there could be an inspiring vision for America under all of that bluster.  But, we will never know. Why? Because Donald Trump can't keep his foot out of his mouth. He is up to his knee cap by now.  And you can't blame the media...They are simply reporting what he said...This brings me to another thing my mother used to say...

DON'T BLAME OTHERS FOR HOW YOU REACT TO THEIR ACTIONS

Yet, how many times have we heard about Donald Trumps twitter activity in response to one thing or another.  This world is a ticking time bomb and so much weighs in the balance. The complexity of which requires a very unique skill set.  Jon Meacham, George HW Bush biographer, said this morning on Morning Joe...the future president of the United States needs three things...

PROPORTION

HUMILITY

DIGNITY

We really must ask ourselves at this point, is a vote for Trump worth the risk.  This isn't just a buyer beware situation.  We are aware of his failings and foibles.  Are they acceptable? Is he our voice? Can we as a nation absorb the consequences should this behavior persist?   Will we still gain things as a nation despite his lack of self-control. Oh and just for the record, I don't subscribe to the conspiracies that he does this to just keep his name in the news. And as a parent, I am not freaking out that my child will speak just as dis-respectfully as he does because they see "Trump do it."  I'm the parent oh my children. But what I do believe is that out of all the Presidents I have known in my short lifetime none of them have been us verbally unhinged as he is. I also know, that never in my lifetime, has the world been at such a boiling point.  I would just ask Donald Trump two questions - 1) Do you really want this job?  2) If so, would you please give my mother a call from time to time?  She really helped me out, quite a lot.

A Muslim, A Jew, A Catholic, A Protestant, And the Future Steward of the United States of America

Since I was 9 years old, I knew who I would vote for in every presidential election.  Granted I had 9 more years to go until I would even be eligible to vote. But, I always had a conviction about my choice.  This year the only thing I have a conviction about is that the american electorate have lost their minds!  Yet, I have a moral conviction that voting is an obligation and not optional.  So somehow I must work through the options that lay in front of me and make the best decision I can.  Now this blog isn't for the Trumpsters who will be with him until the "bloody" end. Nor is it for the Hillsters who are with her, no matter what.  This is for every person out there that feels like they are disarming a bomb and are wondering "Red Wire" or "Blue Wire." 

This past Monday morning, as usual, I was getting ready for my day while toggling between CBS Morning News and Morning Joe.  As I was listening to the interview with the Khan family I suddenly stopped what I was doing, grabbed the remote, kicked it back 2 frames and gave the interview my undivided attention.  Why? I heard the word "Stewardship."  And it was like the lights were turned on, nice and bright.  Here is what happened....

Mark Halperin had asked the Khan family if they had considered the cost of speaking at the DNC the week prior.  Had they considered the impact of what might follow.    This was Mr. Khan's answer.....

“There comes a time in a person’s life where the burdens that have been placed on us mean nothing, This county its good, means so much to us... that we unanimously, we sat at home and we spoke about what could happen....The only way to say thank you would be to face it. But say it, say it, say it publicly.  So that maybe the dignity of the office, the stewardship of this office.  These are not simple words and concepts… these are realities. The world watches the United States..... they emulate it.   It is our obligation, it is our moral duty."

Let's place aside whether you agree or disagree with this families participation at the DNC Convention.  What captured my attention so swiftly that morning was the word "Stewardship"  Stewardship, was one of those church words I grew up with.  It was a big word, that as a child I thought meant simply, give a good offering because God said so.  As I grew up and gained a deeper understanding concept, I would come to believe that all I have and will have comes from a God who loves me and that he has entrusted me to use it according to His values.  

When Mr. Khan said that, it made me look at voting and candidate selection in a different light. For years the voting standard lied in simply the issues.  Where do they stand, where have they stood, and where do they say they will stand tomorrow.  We see tons of voter guides with issues and check boxes.  But, what gets a much lighter consideration, yet goes well beyond issues, is a question. Can we put the next four years in their hands, knowing they will move those issues forward?  

Trust, is such a tricky thing in this election. Hillary Clinton has been surrounded by a whirlwind of suspicion since the mid 1990's.  And let's face it, Donald Trump, isn't trustworthy either.  We have said for years, that politicians are crooked.  And yet, somehow, at this pivotal moment we have to select one of them.  How do we do that?  Well, as I studied the concept of Stewardship again, now in a different light, this is what I learned.  

Stewardship in simplest form is basically, conducting, supervising, or managing something.... the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care.  Some synonyms for stewardship are caretaker or guardian.  When you delve into the secular perspective on stewardship the focus is primarily on the care of the environment and our physical world.  In Judaism, they go back to Genesis and the continuing work of creation. The focus is to alleviate environmental degradation.  

Now Pope John Paul II, said "The earth will not continue to offer its harvest, except with faithful stewardship. We cannot say we love the land and then take steps to destroy it for use by future generations.” Even though he too is concerned about the Earths natural state, he also compels us to be both faithful and consistent in our stewardship. In other words, don't say one thing and another.  St Basil, turns our perspective from the earth to its inhabitants when he said,  “The bread which you hold back belongs to the hungry; the coat, which you guard in your locked storage-chests, belongs to the naked; the footwear mouldering in your closet belongs to those without shoes. The silver that you keep hidden in a safe place belongs to the one in need. Thus, however many are those whom you could have provided for, so many are those whom you wrong.” You could say his approach to Stewardship is a real throwback idea.  In this day and age, there is so much focus on self development/self interest and Basil in the mid-300's was challenging people to care for those in need out of what you have.   

Not to leave the Protestants out, John Wesley was in agreement with St. Basil (albeit some 1400 years later), when he said  “Do you not know that God entrusted you with that money (all above what buys necessities for your families) to feed the hungry, to clothe the naked, to help the stranger, the widow, the fatherless; and, indeed, as far as it will go, to relieve the wants of all mankind? How can you, how dare you, defraud the Lord, by applying it to any other purpose?” Again, we are being compelled to focus on humanity. However he too demands our faithfulness. In John Wesley's case he is asking us to be faithful to the thing we serve. And, if we don't take care of our people faithfully, he in essence calls us a fraud.  

After delving into all of this, I came up with a checklist, of stewardship principles to guide your thinking as you vacillate between candidates.  

Stewardship Checklist

1. Does the candidate have a vision for the future?  Do they posses the capacity to manage towards that vision? (John Paul II - future generations)
   
2. Are those in dire need a part of their plan? Do they have the capacity to care for those in need? (John Wesley/St. Basil - one in need, the stranger)
   
3. Does the candidate understand that the hungry, poor and needy are "our problem" and not "a problem?" (John Wesley)
   
4. Can they be entrusted to care for the nation and not their own personal ambitions? Will they reconcile all actions on behalf of this nation to the both the letter and the spirit of the U.S. Constitution? (Wesley - other purposes)
   
5. Is there a plan to protect our natural resources? Is the candidate willing to reconcile any economic plan against the needs of the land it will impact? (St. John Paul II, Judaic Stewardship)
   
6. Does the candidate have the capacity to roll up their sleeves and be a caretaker?
   
7. Does the candidate have a history of caring and curating - showing true custodial care of the resources (financial, physical and human) already and previously under their care?

We have months to go, until any of us has to put pen to paper or pull a lever.  For many of us we are grateful for the time, because we are truly stumped and wondering  "Red Wire" or "Blue Wire."  My hope is that the above will help put some of this into perspective. May we truly understand what Mr. Khan was saying when he explained, "...these are not simple words and concepts… these are realities. the world watches the United States.... they emulate it.   It is our obligation, it is our moral duty."