Food: After The Storm Leftovers

So, the storm is  now over  There are streets to be cleared, cars that need dug out and if you weren't so so lucky maybe some home repairs to be made.  But, let's face it, the biggest question is, "What will I do with all the bread, eggs and milk I bought?" Why not take the time to try something new.  Here are some ideas that are definitely worth a try.  I'm not going to give you recipes, as there are ample recipes out there for each of the things below. Also, there is great variety and you, in search, can choose the recipe that matches your favorite flavors.

Popovers

Popovers are a a very simple type of bread that uses eggs, flour, and milk.  The batter as it cooks literally puffs up and when you crack it open it is hollow inside.  You can pour in butter and honey and you surely find yourself in heaven.  These are best eaten warm right out of the oven. There are special baking pans - however when I first laid eyes on these wonderful creatures they were made in individual Pyrex dishes.  You can also use oven safe ramekins. Also if you have little ones and your oven door has a window, watching them bake can be a lot of fun.

Frittata

The frittata is a one skillet Italian egg dish that is multi-seasonal.  This dish starts on top of the stove and then finishes in the oven.  There is a lot of room for improvisation here. You can make them meaty or vegetarian.  This is excellent for a quick evening meal.  As you peruse recipes, you will find that you could even use items straight from your pantry.

Spanish Torttilla

The spanish tortilla is very similar to the frittata.  However, there are three absolute essentials to a true spanish tortilla - eggs, potatoes, and onions. The best thing about this dish is that it is good hot and cold.  

French Toast Casserole

French toast casserole dishes, unlike french toast, can be made the night ahead.  There are a variety of recipes found online.  Those recipes run the gamut from your standard cinnamon variety to fruited types.

Breakfast Strata

Breakfast Strata has been the cornerstone of our Christmas morning meal for over 20 years.  We love this dish so much my mother made it for my baby shower back in 2006.  Now just because breakfast is in the title, doesn't mean you have to eat it solely in the morning.  Our families rendition includes eggs, bread, cheese and bulk breakfast sausage. However, every recipe has a new twist and if you search I am certain you will find one to your liking.

Bread Pudding

Bread Pudding is at its best when the bread has been allowed to dry.  This is an incredible dessert in the Winter.  It warms you from the inside out.  While vacationing in Cancun, I had one with a bourbon sauce that was out of this world. Our local pizzeria has a blessed grandmother who makes a chocolate chip version that my daughter craves frequently.

Don't be afraid to be creative with these very basic ingredients.  There is so much room to be creative and see the versatility.  

9/11 Is Not a Thing, It's a Way of Life

"Never Forget," the anthem that echoed across the country after 9/11 appears to have been forgotten.  When a politician in hot pursuit for the presidency chooses to invoke the ideal of being a "New Yorker" as something derogatory, we have forgotten.  We have forgotten that New York City and all of those innocent Americans heading to one destination or another took the bullet for the rest of the nation that day.  We all have moved forwarded, but it became clear on Thursday evening during the GOP Debate that some had forgotten.

As a refresher here are some numbers:

Total number of those killed in New York:  2,753
Total number of troops killed in Operation Enduring Freedom:  2,343
Number of nations whose citizens were killed in those attacks:  115
Bodies found intact: 291
Remains found: 21,906
Number of families who got no remains: 1,717

Several months ago, I was in a discussion around 9/11 and one person wondered aloud,  if it really had much of an impact on our lives any longer.  Had time removed the impact of that day.  For those who visit us a tourists, or who watch the crowds pass by the windows of the many news shows that use NYC as their backdrop, it can appear that normalcy has set back in.  However most us live in what has become to be known as the "New Normal."

This "New Normal" looks very different depending on who you are and what you do. I can only share the impact on my routine as I know it.  So here is my list.

Random bag inspections before getting on the Subway -  Whether you're heading into  Manhattan or heading out of Manhattan, you could find yourself randomly selected to have your bag(s) inspected before heading down into the subway.

Increased presence of NYPD Canines - Passing through high trafficked areas, it has become commonplace to see an officer walking the area with a canine in search of any potential threat.

Increased presence of NYPD with MP5's - Again passing through areas of high traffic you can see one or several officers carrying MP5's at the ready.  And their presence only increases when the alert level climbs, or an event of great significance happens elsewhere and there are feared ramifications for us locally.

Bridge and Tunnel Commercial Vehicle Inspections - Shortly after 9/11 having traveled to work by car often, there were significant slow downs to bridge and tunnel traffic due to inspections. Those inspections still take place but are on a much more selective basis, yet still occur on a daily basis.

Traffic Diversion/Route Changes -There are a multitude of road portions that are now closed to vehicular traffic to keep traffic away from significant landmarks.

Protective Barriers - They are everywhere.  Some are disguised as massive flower pots or other common things. Whereas some are basic police gating.  But their one goals is to protect the building they surround.

Heightened security in office buildings - Showing identification is no longer sufficient. You must also send your belongings through an x-ray machine.  For example, visiting my sister at JP Morgan this summer I had to send my tomatoes and cantaloupe through an x-ray machine before I could wait for her in the lobby.

Taxi Stands re-located - Because so many taxi stands were located in areas designed to give shelter to those who wait, it put them precariously close to major landmarks.  Almost all of them have been moved to another location, minus the shelter from the weather.

Bag Inspections everywhere - You don't go to a museum, movie, or Broadways show without getting your bag inspected.

See Something, Say Something - This has become the mantra of every New Yorker.  This campaign was launched shortly after 9/11, if you see anything or anyone out of place - maybe something peculiar - you say something.  And in the case of the attempted bombing of Times Square that really paid off. But the signs for this campaign greet us daily and if you have not seen one - be certain you will here the reminder at least once on your daily commute.

Immigration - Getting into the country legally became a great challenge. I recall working as a consultant at a pharmaceutical company post-9/11 and the impact it had on their ability to recruit qualified candidates for its global division.  We had one candidate that prior to 2001 took a role within the company in another country. During that time he fell in love and got married.  He was then offered a well earned promotion that would return him home to NYC.  But, due to the new restrictions on immigration, length of process, new requirements it would have been a few years before his wife could join him.  So he chose his marriage over his promotion and remained outside of the country.

Personal Preparedness - For everyone this looks different.  When I worked in the Manhattan, I kept a back up pair of sneakers in my desk, just in case I had to walk home again. I even had a walk home route planned and a friend I would meet up with along the way.  This past Christmas as the girls and I headed into the city to enjoy Manhattan in all its holiday glory, we prepared the girls to be safe. We spoke with them, outlining rules and then gave them bracelets that can light up brightly if they get lost in the crowd making it easier to find them.

Continued Discovery of Human Remains - Then everyone once in a while there will be new of newly discovered bone fragment that they will be working to identify.  As DNA profiling advances there will hopefully be more victim identifications.  The last identification was on March 20, 2015. This is most significant for families that need closure and haven't gotten itd.

After the last GOP debate, as a New Yorker of twenty-two years it aggravated me when I heard a pundit characterized Donald Trumps rebuttal to Ted Cruz's outdated New Yorker accusation, as invoking the "9/11 thing."  What an absolutely diminished characterization of that day.  I dislike it just as much as when politicians invoke 9/11 as a way to justify domestic spying, or yet another security protocol.   It isn't a thing, or a mechanism for fear, it is an everyday reality.  Families, corporations, fire departments, and police precincts were forever changed that day.

You see, we can never forget.  We are reminded daily.  Our daily routine is our daily reminder.  New Yorkers aren't looking for preferential treatment because of 9/11. We do however demand respect. Respect doesn't trivialize or manipulate. Nor does it demand full ideological agreement. Respect remembers the people who leapt to their death from those fiery towers.  Respect advocates for the first responders who have had to repeatedly travel to Washington DC to fight for their health benefits. Respect honors every person who gave their life in service and in death to defend our country after that terrible day.

Individuality in Marriage - Our Story

Last evening, while I was out at a Broadway play with a dear friend, my impish husband seized the day and hacked my Facebook account.  He proceeded to write the following status....

"I am so thankful for my husband, I am out partying, and he is so supportive of everything that I do. So much of my life wouldn't be nearly as wonderful as it is without him.  If you get a chance, go and tell him what a great guy he is. He deserves it."

In no way did it bother me that he did this. The fact is, it is true.  And that road of space and support goes both ways.  We have always believed in each other as individuals

During a college chapel service one of our Residence Hall Directors was giving a talk on marriage.  It certainly didn't seem to apply to me at the time because I was not engaged nor was I seeing anyone.  But, one point she made really stuck with me.  The importance of maintaining your identity within the marriage.  It is from within your individuality that you create a stronger marriage.  When one looses ones self that individual no longer has anything to contribute to the marriage.

Fast forward to the Winter of 1994 when Ike an I began "courting,"  I had just moved to NYC and he was wrapping up his last semester at Columbia.  We loved talking with each other.  In fact many nights I would fall asleep while still on the phone.  In our talks we found out that we had such opposite opinions on so many things both social and political.  But, we never argued about them.  We loved playing devils advocate with each others point of view. He respected my line of thinking despite his lack of agreement.  Our relationship took the normal course (sort of - material for another blog) and we married several years later.

As a disclaimer I have to admit that our marriage has not been perfect. We argue about the same things other couples do.  We don't always argue fair.  You try arguing with a guy who has ADHD and you are about as long winded as a Southern Baptist minister on a roll.  We have had bumpy roads and potholes and a few moments that felt as if we were hanging off a cliff.  But one of our prevailing strengths has been our commitment to each others personhood.  In other words we each have a life.

You will never see us have a joint Facebook account (how confusing is it when the birthday reminder comes up and you don't know whose birthday it really is).  There is a high likelihood that if one of us is at an event, the other is not.  (This has become more of a reality since having children... most especially on school nights)  For example, I love Broadway - Ike loves the Yankees. (I like the Yankees too, but he has a need to consumer much more of it than I do.)  I get calls at the house for political fundraising for the Republican party.  They assume that since my husband is a Republican, they can hit me up in his absence. I so love the stunned silence when they hear that I'm a Democrat.  It's like they just saw a Unicorn.

We also don't feel the need to accompany each other on some of the more pedestrian errands we run.  For example, it is highly unlikely that you will find Ike in a grocery store with me.  It is a time saver as he would be breaking down the savings of one product over another to such a granular level that anything cold in my wagon would have warmed by the time we eventually got to check out.  You won't find me sitting by his side at Jiffy Lube when he gets the oil changed.  We just don't  need to be in others company all the time.  Sitting at Jiffy Lube is a waste of my time.  And when I return from the store he is quick to help sort out the bags and help get things put away.  Lastly, we run a bit counter to the the social norm. We will never finish each others sentences and neither of us is offended if we utter opposing opinions in public.  In maintaining our individuality we are able to enhance each others life by bringing in new opportunities and new ideas.  It makes the relationship more dynamic.

Every couple has their own rhythm and this ours.  It is a rather syncopated rhythm.  But, it makes our relationship kind of groovy.  We still don't and probably never will see eye to eye on various issues.  But, on one issue we can agree.  We agree that we love each other.  Remembering that each is "
used to refer to every one of two or more people or things, regarded and identified separately."

My America the Beautiful

As we move through this shift in our history, how we define America has received quite a bit of debate.  What are our values?  How we do we recognize our past, while moving into our future?  Who is an American? Who has a right to become an American citizen?  The questions are endless and rich in controversy.  As we approach this holiday commemorating the ideals we all agree on  - Liberty, Independence, and Freedom - let's take a break from the noise and look at the beautiful America that surrounds you.  Here is a snapshot of my beautiful America.

There is nothing more wonderful than hearing English spoken with an accent from the another part of the world.  Even the mix called Spanglish - spoken by the mother that is struggling to learn and the patience of her daughter explaining a proper morning greeting.  There is beauty in the group of 15 or so Russian immigrant women meeting after hours in a local hair salon to learn English.  And as a child of the 80's it made me laugh (in joy) to hear my daughters Head Coach talk about the importance of Independence Day in his very distinct Eastern European accent.

My beautiful America can be heard in the mournful yet hopeful tones of the shofar.  It sparkles through holiday lights displayed in the early autumn as my neighbors celebrate Diwali.  Then there are the red envelopes that my children bring home in mid-winter as gifts from their Chinese-American classmates as they celebrate the Lunar New Year.  There is the beauty of the women in their Sunday best, which always includes a lovely hat, as we share the elevator on Sunday mornings as we head off to our services.

My beautiful America is seen in the hands that serve.  Those who prepare meals for the hungry at the Bowery Mission.  Those who rescue leftover food from local stores and restaurants, ensuring they get to people in need.  It is in food delivery services such as Gods Love We Deliver that gets the sick a nourishing meal. There is beauty in the way the nurses care for the cancer stricken.  And there is a sacrificial beauty in the hands of those men from the Gay Mens Health Crisis in the early 80's that risked their lives to ensure that the sick and dying were fed and kept clean when no one else would.

My beautiful America is in the smiling faces of friends who having endured years of struggle finally get their green card.  And even better, when they finally receive full citizenship.  My beautiful America is in the face of my children - their father is a 1st generation American, their great-grandfather on my side was an immigrant to America, and yet throughout the tangled limbs and roots of their ancestry they carry decades of family making their way to the shores of America.  

We all experience different facets of American life.  It seems lately, there has been much focus on what divides us.  As we celebrate this holiday, may we appreciate the beauty around us.  May we all live understanding that each of us carry within in us the hope of past generations. This is my beautful America.

Bound by Truth: Lessons in Balls and a Blue Dress

Why is it that every major public offense requires a "blue dress" to bring some accountability? Anthony Weiner finally had to own that lovely chest shot when outed on The Opie and Anthony Show. He denied it over and over.  Two years later he was outed again for the same behavior.  And poor Roger Sterling (insert sarcasm here), He didn't stand a chance.  It was all on tape.  And unless we get some actual physical evidence, we may never get to the bottom of Bill Cosby pileup.

So, this past Winter as "Deflategate" inflated I was really hoping that Tom Brady would tell the truth. Instead we got the typical deflect and deny.  Considering his reputation on and off the field, I was expecting more.  And honestly his fans deserved better. Finally after months of investigation and a 300+ page report rich in circumstantial evidence, it is still Deny, Deny, Deny.  And to make matters worse it is denial put into action by the promise of appeal.

Now Tom has some good company in this camp. In January, Lance Armstrong in an interview with the BBC admitted that he would, "do it again."  As the interview progressed it seemed as if he was trying to apologize - but it wound up sounding like, "well everyone was doing it."  Lance made it clear that given the circumstances of his life and cycling in the mid 1990's he would have still broken the rules.  Let's remember that it took extensive investigations until he had to own his behavior.  But, no one would consider this taking accountability.

The same rationale that Lance expressed is the same thing we are hearing today regarding Tom Brady and the Patriots.  I had a fan tell me that Tom Brady probably did it, but because they don't have concrete proof there should be no punishments. And then added, every team in the NFL cheats.  We all hear our mothers say, "If everyone was jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you?"  Now, Ronald Reagan put a bit more eloquently “We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.” The claim that we do it, because everyone does it, is not us at our best.

Earlier, I alluded to the infamous Lewinsky "blue dress," solid evidence.  But, this past year we have seen that even with solid evidence responsibility is evaded.  In July of 2014 on video you see a police officer putting Eric Garner into an illegal chokehold.  Per the Medical Examiners office, that criminal chokehold was partly responsible for Mr. Garner's death.  In December of the same year a Grand Jury decided to not hold the officer responsible for the illegal behavior that lead to end of Eric Garners life.  So no accountability for the Officer.  Unlike the Ferguson grand jury, the proceedings of the Staten Island Grand Jury have never been disclosed. So, no accountability for those proceedings.  Then just last week in a special election the Staten Island District Attorney Daniel Donovan Jr. (who ran the Grand Jury) was elected to Congress.  Theodore Roosevelt, not only our former President - but a former New York City Police Commissioner said,“We must hold to a rigid accountability those public servants who show unfaithfulness to the interests of the nation or inability to rise to the high level of the new demands upon our strength and our resources."  One has to wonder, what would Teddy have done?

There is a real problem when one has to consult an Attorney in the midst of an ethical conflict. “It is wrong and immoral to seek to escape the consequences of one's acts,"  according to Mahatma Ghandi.  Yet over a year ago, we saw Yankees former third basemen Alex Rodriguez surrounded by his Lawyers do everything he could do to escape responsibility for doping.  How much money did her spend denying the truth?  And after all of that he still had to sit out a year.  Now he is back in the game. Some argue that he is a better player now and more humble.  Yet, his record in baseball is tainted.  Last week he passed Willie Mays in career home runs, scoring his 661st.  There was little to no fanfare.  And there is speculation that the Yankees may try to avoid paying out on a contracted bonus for passing that record because of his doping.  Was it all worth it.?

Last evening as we slept Ananta Bijoy Das (32 years old), was hacked to death with cleavers and machete's in Bangladesh.  He was a blogger who took the risk to speak out against Islam.  Ananta knew the risk.  He is now the third person to be hacked to death in Bangladesh.  Then there was the massacre at the offices of Charlie Hedbo. Lives taken because they took the risk to publish and to do what they felt was their right to do.  They knew the risks, threats had been made before. You hear stories of unapologetic Nazi's such as  Hermann Göring (the second highest ranking Nazi official to be tried at Nuremberg) admitting to his heinous actions and decrees.  Why is standing by ones own actions so unfashionable.

(Blogger bludgeoned in Bangladesh)

In 1995, Hugh Grant was arrested in LA for having sex in a public place with a prostitute.  In the days that followed, he owned his behavior.  He didn't hide behind a wall of carefully calculated PR stunts.  Nor did he run to check himself in to re-hab.  Hugh went on The Jay Leno Show and in short said, "...I did a bad thing..."  And if that wasn't enough he went on Larry King and said, "I could accept some of the things that people have explained, stress, pressure, loneliness, that that was the reason. But that would be false. In the end you have to come clean and say ‘I did something dishonorable, shabby, and goatish....'"  He is right in the end you have to come clean.

“Manliness consists not in bluff, bravado or loneliness. It consists in daring to do the right thing and facing consequences whether it is in matters social, political or other. It consists in deeds not words.” To Mahatma Ghandi, manliness includes accountability regardless of cost. I would go a step further to say true accountability - before the blue dress, the video tape, the DNA evidence, the 300+ page report.... Lack of accountability in the face of truth is weakness.  Will we ever see a true man or women that dares to be duty bound to the truth?   According to St. Thomas Aquinas, “As a matter of honor, one man owes it to another to manifest the truth.” 

Parent IEP Success - 6 Not So Easy Steps

Since Kindergarten, my one daughter has required an IEP (Individualized Education Plan).  The annual meetings have become routine. Students who receive additional services such as Speech Therapy etc. have a specific academic plan to support their particular area of challenge. The plan articulates the goals for the upcoming school year.  Those goals are put together by a team that includes teachers, specialists, therapists, and parents.  Today, I write this for the parents.

Several years ago, I had the good fortune of meeting a mother who had gone through the process and was a pro. Due to certain requirements of her child's IEP she had to be very "hands on".  Over the past several years our conversations have been instrumental to my success as a parent in this process. There are many of you out there that may not have an advocate or a sounding board.  You could feel very alone in this process.  So, I wanted to share some of things I have learned along the way.

ADVOCATE FOR YOUR CHILD

Since the day you brought this child home from the hospital you did everything to get to know your child. You learned the difference between the "I'm Hungry" cry to the "I'm poopy" cry. (ok so that last one comes with a smell enhancer).  You know your child.  As you are working with the teachers and other professionals in the IEP process listen to your inner voice.  If an assessment doesn't ring true to you (or the recommendations) - say so.  If you feel as if the services or the plan in place is not accomplishing the goals speak up.  Let's face it as parents we have far fewer children to guide through this world than your child's school teacher. Regardless of how great the teacher is, things can get overlooked. Speak up.

DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED

We aren't all educational professionals with multiple publications in Child Development.  And we don't have to be.  However, at times you can feel that way because of your lack of educations or maybe even lack of experience with whatever challenge your child is facing.-You  can feel like you don't have a voice.  Most people at your IEP meeting do want your insight and your perspective.  Now, some may not. I recently had a team member degrade my preparation as "just a google search" (I wonder what Google thinks of that?) and was coolly reminded that I was surrounded by experts, so this wasn't necessary.  You know what I did?  I made it clear that the team member was being offensive and then I continued on with the discussion at hand. Be very wary of the team member that chooses to diminish your preparation. You are just as much a member of that team, as is everyone else at that meeting.  Don't allow yourself to be daunted.

BE PREPARED

Try to get a draft of the IEP prior to the meeting. You may encounter some push back.  Some schools actually have a policy of not distributing it until the meeting. However, I argue that the advance draft, allows you to review it, ensuring that your input has been characterized properly. Also, most of these meetings are run on a tight schedule - so to waste valuable meeting time reading through the report as opposed to discussing it, seems wasteful.

If you can't get the IEP ahead of time - using the most recent IEP - make a list of changes you would like to see in the new IEP.  Then use that as a checklist as you walk through the IEP in the meeting.  Also, make a list of goals that you believe were met during the duration of the most recent IEP.  Ensure that those goals are struck from the new plan.  Doing these simple things should help you be as prepared as you can be.

Worst case scenario is if the meeting has to wrap and you are left with unanswered questions or concerns.  If that happens, then you must demand a second meeting before you are willing to agree with current IEP.  Understand, that this request will not be very welcomed. However it is your right.

BRACE YOURSELF

You may very well be a cold-hearted negotiator when it comes to making deals.  But, when it comes to IEP meetings it can be emotional.  Maybe a new observation catches you off guard.  Or maybe, hearing someone voice the same concerns you have may be very touching.  Talking about your child's challenges can be sensitive and if you aren't in agreement with the team it can make you feel very volatile.  Just remember, take a breathe (often if you must).

ASK ANYTHING

As a part of preparation, compile a list of questions you presently have. As the meeting progresses, if those questions are asked, check them off.  If more questions arise during the meeting jot them down.  Then just be certain to get them answered before you leave.  Also, don't let the other team members deter you from asking your questions.  If it is important enough for you to jot down, then you must ask it.  You of all the team members, need to leave that meeting confident that the best plan is in place for your child.

FINISH STRONG

After the meeting, you will be sent a final copy.  Go over that copy with a fine tooth comb.  Make sure your changes have been made and ensure that everything is as it should be.   Don't be surprised if you come up with an additional concern or goal after meeting. It happens to all of us.  If there are any changes required, simply send a note of to the teachers with your notes. They will make the adjustments and send you the final.

Remember, that as a parent you are the ultimate advocate.  That can at times require you to do things that take you out of your comfort zone.  The process can be time consuming as well.  But, your child's development is well worth it.