Wednesday, September 3, 2014

When Twins Aren't Twins Anymore

About two years ago, waiting at my daughters bus stop a mother approached me with a question. "Do you find twins at this age difficult?"  At this stage in the game, my girls were 5 and heading to First Grade. I responded by asking her why she was asking. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not being snobby here - I was just surprised. You see this mother, was amazing. She had four children ranging from a Freshmen in college to a 3 year old.  And her household functioned like a well oiled machine.  She explained that a co-worker of hers was perpetually complaining about the unique hardships of raising twins.  Come to find out, those twins were teenagers.

Culyer Smith -

In my world, once my twins could walk, talk, feed and pee (in a pot) the unique challenges of twin parenting dwindled significantly.  As I began to see it, we were simply a family of four.  The challenges were the same.  The cost for school supplies and clothes were the same.  The tug and pull between each child ensuring that they get equal time and assuring that you love them both the same.  The time constraints caused by homework and extra-curricular events were the same.

It can become very easy to blame our insanity on the fact that we are parents to twins. In fact since the day they were born our insanity was directly connected to the sleeplessness and the never ending needs of our twins.  For a time, yes we were the wrecked parents of twins.  But, a time came to transition.  In the world of parenting, things never do calm down.  But, they get easier to manage.  In fact the older the twins get the more they help and the more they take on.

Do I understand where my friends co-worker is coming from? Yes.  In fact, I often misplace my keys and cell phone and automatically assume my girls moved them.  Do I agree with her coworker?  Not at all.   Going to back to my lost cell phone and keys - I misplaced them 9 times out of 10. We are simply a family of four with a mother who would loose her right arm if it didn't already come attached. That being said, we will one day be able to moan about being the parents of twins - when we get hit with two college tuition bills in the same year.  Here's praying they don't decide to get married in the same year.

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